Madison Avenue Religion
Posted by admin on 2 Nov 2008 11:51 am. Filed under Religion.
Ernie Fitzpatrick
Come on in folks and take a seat. The how is about to begin. You won’t be disappointed because there is a story to tell that defies all logic (tongue in cheek). Listen up and pay attention because what you’re about to behold is how you can escape this hellish life on earth and live forever eternally with God in the sweet bye-n-bye. Take a seat as the show is about to begin.
I just read the book, Jim and Casper Go To Church. It’s quite a muse about how America’s religion has put Madison Avenue to shame with it’s awesome sales pitch!
While you might not know it but you were DOOMED before you were ever born as you were an ORIGINAL SIN(er) and there’s no way out unless you quickly see your unworthiness and make amends. And you can accomplish eternal bliss today, at the end of the service, by simply saying YES to JAY-ZUS!
But first, let us tell you how rotten you really are how you can GIVE to His church. No, this is not some sort of Dark Ages indulgences. This is mdoern-day reality. Give and you will be saved! Give and you will be accepted. Give and your condo in heaven will have a down payment made in your name. One substitution does it all. One confession on your part buys the whole package. Say YES to JAY-ZUS now and you will receive the following.
>All sins forgiven
>Prosperity, success, and a fabulous job
>The perfect wife (or husband) if you’re not married
>The healing of all your sicknesses
>A Sunday home where you can always find love
Thus, if you DO NOT say YES to JAY-ZUS then you’re going to spend eternity in hell because God is sick and tired of those who do not give Him the respect of bowing their knee before Him. Rememebr the God of the Old Testament who meted out plagues, pestilence, and genocidal tirades for misdemeanors? Remember Him? He’s still here!
So, much for Madison Avenue religion. You don’t even have to go to church on Sunday to get these benefits. Just put your hand on the TV set and send in the biggest check that you can and they will pray for you and send you a beautiful genuine leather bound Bible- not to mention a request for more money every month!
Aren’t you glad this really isn’t the true God of Jesus, the Christ! Abba Father is love and His love is unconditional. There’s nothing you can do that will cause Him to stop loving you. You are His creation and you will be forever!
Come on in folks and take a seat. The how is about to begin. You won’t be disappointed because there is a story to tell that defies all logic (tongue in cheek). Listen up and pay attention because what you’re about to behold is how you can escape this hellish life on earth and live forever eternally with God in the sweet bye-n-bye. Take a seat as the show is about to begin.
I just read the book, Jim and Casper Go To Church. It’s quite a muse about how America’s religion has put Madison Avenue to shame with it’s awesome sales pitch!
While you might not know it but you were DOOMED before you were ever born as you were an ORIGINAL SIN(er) and there’s no way out unless you quickly see your unworthiness and make amends. And you can accomplish eternal bliss today, at the end of the service, by simply saying YES to JAY-ZUS!
But first, let us tell you how rotten you really are how you can GIVE to His church. No, this is not some sort of Dark Ages indulgences. This is mdoern-day reality. Give and you will be saved! Give and you will be accepted. Give and your condo in heaven will have a down payment made in your name. One substitution does it all. One confession on your part buys the whole package. Say YES to JAY-ZUS now and you will receive the following.
>All sins forgiven
>Prosperity, success, and a fabulous job
>The perfect wife (or husband) if you’re not married
>The healing of all your sicknesses
>A Sunday home where you can always find love
Thus, if you DO NOT say YES to JAY-ZUS then you’re going to spend eternity in hell because God is sick and tired of those who do not give Him the respect of bowing their knee before Him. Rememebr the God of the Old Testament who meted out plagues, pestilence, and genocidal tirades for misdemeanors? Remember Him? He’s still here!
So, much for Madison Avenue religion. You don’t even have to go to church on Sunday to get these benefits. Just put your hand on the TV set and send in the biggest check that you can and they will pray for you and send you a beautiful genuine leather bound Bible- not to mention a request for more money every month!
Aren’t you glad this really isn’t the true God of Jesus, the Christ! Abba Father is love and His love is unconditional. There’s nothing you can do that will cause Him to stop loving you. You are His creation and you will be forever!
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